Hello. Welcome to our new improved home page. It may not look much different, but it is, trust us. Or better still, read it. You'll find it's more informative, because we have more to inform you about, but we've kept the dialogue form, because hey, that's what we do.
So we're still here then?
I thought we were going to take things easier, now that we're old age pensioners?
So did I.
So what went right?
Well, for a start we stumbled into musical theatre.
How did that happen?
You know how that happened. You were there.
But the people who visit this site weren't there.
But it's all on this website, just above this dialogue; under "credits", under "about us"...
At least give the poor readers a hint.
Okay. We were introduced to the producers of Dreamboats and Petticoats. Then they asked us to write Save The Last Dance For Me, then we went back to Dreamboats and wrote Dreamboats and Miniskirts.
Currently touring the nation.
And what about TV?
What about TV?
How did we suddenly find ourselves responsible for the biggest hit comedy on UK television?
You were there!
But the readers...
All right, all right! Following a successful stage tour with the original cast. Birds of a Feather returned to TV at the beginning of 2014, and the viewing figures surpassed everyone's expectations.
Not mine either.
We still haven't said anything about radio, non-musical theatre, stamp collecting...
If we put everything on the homepage, no one will visit the rest of this fantastically sophisticated website. Besides, you don't collect stamps.
I was thinking of starting.
We haven't got the time, we're too busy.
Not too busy to update this site a bit more frequently?
No, we've got to do that. Our eager fanbase expect it. Besides which, we're now on Twitter - @marksandgran - so people can expect a constant stream of titbits.
I look forward to reading them.
We have to write them first.
Oh, is that how it works?
You have so much to learn.